Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about men who love cats and what it says about them. The reason I have cats at all is a guy I dated who had two cats of his own. My sister is lucky enough to have found a cat-loving man, and I can only hop...
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about men who love cats and what it says about them. The reason I have cats at all is a guy I dated who had two cats of his own. My sister is lucky enough to have found a cat-loving man, and I can only hope I will too someday (soon!).
So I put out a call for cat men and received the photos and stories below. This is my take on cat men and why I think they’re the best men around.
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Me with Gator, a friend's cat.
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I asked an ex of mine why men love dogs, given they personify all that is deemed undesirable in the opposite sex -- needy, dependent, requiring constant validation, easily excitable, unable to contain emotions (not to mention the love of snuggle time). He replied, “They don’t talk, and you always have the option of putting them outside.” Ouch!
An acquaintance once asked her dad, “Why do most men hate cats?” He responded (apparently not missing a beat), “I think they remind us too much of smart-ass women.”
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Teyu with Momcat. He says, “Contrary to what many of my coworkers might think, being a cat owner takes more of a man than the average twentysomething single Marine!"
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Both these anecdotes speak of the desire for an ever-obedient, adoring, and controllable female partner. What, then, can we extrapolate about the man who loves cats? What kind of person is he, and what type of partner does he want? Let's break it down.
1. He's secure with his sexuality
We grow up learning that dogs are for boys, and cats for girls. Even today, pet companies may venture so far as to show a woman or girl with dogs, but few portray a man or boy with cats.
The man who is public about his cat-love is secure enough in his masculinity to go against social norms and express his love for an animal that is viewed as “soft” and “feminine” (which I have yet to understand, given most cats are anything but -- but that’s another post!).
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Paul Klusman and his cat, Zoey.
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A few years ago, the New York Times ran an article about the increasing number of straight cat-owning men. Paul Klusman, an engineer who made the "Engineer's Guide to Cats" video (below) featuring his three cats, believes, “Any single, straight man who has the slightest bit of insecurity about his own sexuality will probably find it difficult to admit to owning or even appreciating cats.”
Elizabeth Daza, a 28-year-old Manhattan resident who has dated cat-owning men, is quoted in the same article as saying, “Straight men with cats seem to be really secure and stable. They don’t need to be running around the park and proving their masculinity like the dog guys.”
2. He's confident about his place in the world
The dog is the “insecure man’s best friend,” believes Mr. Scalia, a cat-owning science-fiction writer. “The dog is in effect, your wingman. If you’re feeling insecure about your space in the world, you get a dog because he will always back you up.”
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