Comedy

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

"Never learn to do anything: if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you."

"I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way."

"'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."

"Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing."

bitsandpieces

baierman

danieltflynn bunnyfood

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