Comedy

Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

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Today, I managed to drop my phone into the pot of water I was boiling. I shoved my hand in without thinking to try and save it. I now have 1st degree burns on my hand and no phone. FML

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: eggs , couch , puns , sit Share on Facebook