England

The big-name deals that the Emirates Stadium side have apparently already been agreed. Check in to Newcastle United vs Arsenal Stevan Jovetic Among a host of deals that have apparently already been agreed it is perhaps a move to bring Fiorentina forward Stevan Jovetic to the Emirates Stadium that has garnered the most attention. A number of sources have quoted this as a 'Done Deal' with the Metro among a host of sources claiming that the 23 year old has all but completed his long awaited move to join the North London club. A move for the Serie A striker will apparently cost Arsenal around £20m, though Fiorentina are said to be keen to haggle towards £25m. Jovetic has scored 12 Serie A goals thus far this season but has managed just one in his last ten top tier appearances, which could suggest that his mind has been on other matters. Vincenzo Montella already has a replacement for the youngster with Giuseppe Rossi ready to fill the potential void. Gonzalo Higuain The Real Madrid man is said to have agreed terms on a move to Arsenal with Arsene Wenger ready to meet the Bernabeu side's valuation, so say Spanish source Sport.es, a deal then confirmed by the Daily Express. The North London club will stump up €22m (£18.6m) for the 25 year old and the Bernabeu striker has agreed terms on a five year contract with the Emirates Stadium side and therefore one would imagine this deal is all but done, at least according to this source. Thus far this season the former River Plate man has been handed just 17 La Liga starts but has still managed to net 14 goals in Spain's top tier. The French born striker moved to Real Madrid in December 2006 and has racked up 119 goals in 262 appearances for the Spanish giants. Moves to bring in the pair would appear to leave the likes of Nicklas Bendtner, Park Chu-Young, Marouane Chamakh and potentially even Gervinho and Lukas Podolski wondering about their respective Arsenal careers. Julio Cesar The Brazilian is apparently set to sign for Arsenal with the Daily Mirror claiming that a move to the Emirates Stadium was the 'most likely' for the 33 year old with a deal 'expected' to be completed in the coming days. Loftus Road owner Tony Fernandes is so keen to have Cesar's £70k a week salary wiped off the balance sheet that he's willing to let the former Inter Milan man leave on a free transfer. Arsene Wenger may well feel the need to bring in a new custodian as Wojciech Szczesny has been less than assured between the sticks this term and Lukasz Fabianski is still to convince the Gunners boss of his worth as a first choice starter. Despite QPR's relegation Cesar has been a relatively successful signing for the West London side, notably keeping two clean sheets in fixtures against Chelsea. Prior to his move to the Premier League Cesar spent seven seasons at the San Siro, during which time he made 300 appearances and won five Serie A titles and a Champions League winners medal. Yaya Sanogo French source RMC stated that Arsenal have agreed terms on a pre-contract deal to sign Auxerre youngster Yaya Sanogo, this was then reported by the Metro. The 20 year old has told his Ligue 2 side he wants to leave and is out of contract in matter of weeks and Arsenal will apparently fork out around £300k in the form of 'training' compensation to sign the in-form striker. The 20-year-old has attracted a lot of attention from several of Europe's big clubs following his prolific form for Ligue 2 side Auxerre, and at youth level for France, and it seems the Gunners have won the race for his signature. Sanogo's current contract with the French club expires in June, and he will be free to pen a four-year contract with Arsenal, making him the club's first signing of the summer. The youngster may not be the big name that many Arsenal fans are crying out for, and his recent record with injuries may also prove something of a concern, but manager Arsene Wenger has a good track record of unearthin

Incoming Chelsea boss wants Manchester City target. Check in to Chelsea vs Everton Incoming Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho is reportedly lining up a summer swoop for Roma midfielder Daniele De Rossi, according to The Express. 'The Special One' is largely tipped to take over at the West London club for a second spell this summer and rumour is he wants to pip Manchester City to the 29-year-old's signature. Interim boss Rafa Benitez yesterday suggested that the new gaffer would be given a £100 million transfer war chest this summer and De Rossi will be a high priority on a large list of potential new stars. According to Italian newspaper Gazetta dello Sport, Mourinho wants to secure the signature of experienced Italian international Daniele De Rossi for a fee of around £10m. Roma are thought to be willing to sanction the deal after a disappointing campaign for the 29-year-old despite spending the past 13 years of his career with the club. Former Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini had failed in a bid to bring De Rossi to England after he pledged his future to Roma, but Mourinho, who is reported to be a big fan of the all action midfielder, is convinced that he can twist his arm into making the switch to London. A bid of almost €12m (£10.13m) could be enough to secure De Rossi, who is likely to command a wage of nearly £100,000 a week.

Italian maestro not moving to the Premier League. Check in to Sampdoria vs Juventus Juventus star Andrea Pirlo has ruled out a switch to the Premier League but has hinted that he may be tempted to follow the path taken by his friend Alessandro Del Piero, according to talkSPORT. The 33-year-old became the player at the forefront of everyone's minds last summer after his impressive displays for Italy during Euro 2012, and he has moved to put an end to the speculation linking him with a move to the Premier League. The Juve man is considering his next move as he enters the twilight of his career and whilst he has admitted that England isn't an option he could be open to following in the footsteps of his former international teammate Alessandro Del Piero by moving overseas to draw an end to his playing days. "Never say never. When I get older I might make a choice like Del Piero did," he told Italian newspaper Corriere dello Sport. "In the past I have been on the verge of transfers abroad and I always thought it would be a positive experience." Del Piero also had offers from England but decided to move down under and see out his playing days with A League side Sydney FC.

Dortmund striker focussing on a strong finish. Check in to Borussia Dortmund vs 1899 Hoffenheim Borussia Dortmund striker Robert Lewandowski has insisted that he will not be rushed into making a decision over his future, according to Sky Sports. The 24-year-old has become one of the most sought after stars in Europe this season following three successful campaigns with the Bundesliga side and has been a long standing target for Manchester United as well as being linked with the likes of Chelsea, Real Madrid and Bayern Munich. However, he has remained quiet on the speculation and has insisted that at the moment he is only focussed on finishing the season well with Dortmund before taking on rivals Bayern Munich in the Champions League final on May 25th. "At this time I do not think about the transfer market or my future," he told Polish TV station TVN24. "There are still two games left this season with Borussia Dortmund and I want to win both. I will think about my future after those games and then make a decision." The Polish international has set the Bundesliga alight since joining Dortmund from Lech Poznan in 2010 by bagging 74 goals in 135 games but now seems set to be one of the number of high profile names to leave the side this summer.

I’m no expert on bikes, but have to say that the eye-catching Brake Bikes make a nice addition to Blackheath’s high street. The business model is interesting – a kind of “pop-up shop” appearing outside various shops on the street – I’ve seen them at the hairdressers next to Strada, and Raffles the clothes shop. Wondering if a bike shop could be the next addition to the high street? Never ridden a “fixie” myself, unless you count a BMX (many years ago).

A round-up of Saturday's biggest transfer stories. Check in to Newcastle United vs Arsenal Jose Mourinho will make a controversial move to bring Manchester United target Cristiano Ronaldo with him if he rejoins Chelsea from Real Madrid this summer. Full story: Daily Mail. Arsenal are favourites to sign Brazilian goalkeeper Julio Cesar when he leaves relegated Queens Park Rangers this summer. Full story: Daily Mirror. Liverpool goalkeeper Pepe Reina is a priority signing for Barcelona this summer as a replacement for the departing Victor Valdes. Full story: Daily Mirror. Fiorentina are preparing for life without Arsenal-bound Stevan Jovetic and are lining up moves for either Fernando Torres or Edin Dzeko. Full story: talkSPORT. Manchester City target Jesus Navas says he is open to a move away from Sevilla this summer. Full story: Daily Mirror. Rio Ferdinand is expected to put pen to paper on an extension to his contract with Manchester United. Full story: Sky Sports. Andreas Weimann is likely to stay in the Premier League next season after leaving Aston Villa, with Liverpool looking like his most likely destination. Full story: The Metro. The agent of Sunderland goalkeeper Simon Mignolet has dismissed speculation that his client could leave the club, despite links to Arsenal and Napoli. Full story: Sky Sports. Aston Villa will aim to fight off interest from West Ham in Brad Guzan by offering the goalkeeper a new contract and pay rise. Full story: Daily Star. Reading manager Nigel Adkins says the club are determined to hold on to highly-rated goalkeeper Alex McCarthy, despite his England call-up. Full story: Daily Star. Incoming Manchester City manager Manuel Pellegrini has warned that he will bring strict discipline to the team if he joins from Malaga. Full story: The Sun. Tottenham manager Andre Villas-Boas wants the club to appoint a technical director to help them in the transfer market. Full story: The Guardian. Newcastle manager Alan Pardew believes his job at the club is now safe after helping the team avoid relegation this season. Full story: Daily Mirror. Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho says this is the worst season of his life after his side lost to rivals Atletico Madrid in the Copa Del Rey final. Full story: Sky Sports. Manchester United veteran Ryan Giggs says he still has no plans of retiring, even as he approaches his 40th year. Full story: The Telegraph. Retiring Jamie Carragher says there's no chance of him taking a penalty this weekend in his final game for Liverpool! Full story: The Telegraph.

86 to Romford 2009-07-03 16:21:48 Flickr | Facebook page | Twitter | POSTCARD BOOK originally published on my old site 2011-06-17 09:23:55

The Austentatious team / photo by Idil Sukan Where to find funny this week Sunday 19 May: Daniel Simonsen, Paul Rickett, Edward Hedges, Kiri Pritchard-Mclean, Simon Caine, Luke Graves, Laura McClenaghan, Paul Duncan McGarrity and MC John Hastings make up the packed bill at Twice as Nice Comedy in Hammersmith (8pm, £5). Monday 20 May: Remember Going Live? Then head to the Udderbelly where Trevor and Simon are the guests of Tom Allen. If you don’t remember Going Live then this may be your first ever chance to properly swing your pants, you lucky whippersnappers (7pm, £15.50). Tuesday 21 May: Simon Munnery, Aisling Bea, Ben Target, Kieran Boyd and Beasts are the guests at Monster comedy at Leicester Square Theatre – a great line-up, and all for charity (8.30pm, £8). Wednesday 22 May: If you like Jane Austen then Austentatious is an absolute must: a team of comedians including Cariad Lloyd and Rachel Parris improvise an Austenish novel before your very eyes. Often standing room only in venues above pubs, there’s a seat each at the Udderbelly (9pm, £12.50). Thursday 23 May: Radio 4 series like Warhorses of Letters, Before They Were Famous and parts of John Finnemore’s Souvenir Programme got their starts at Tall Tales in Kilburn’s Good Ship. Find out what Helen Arney, Toby Davies, Gareth Edwards, John Finnemore, Viv Groskop, Ian Leslie, Susannah Pearse and host Robert Hudson have come up with this time, plus the latest adventures of Copenhagen and Marengo (8pm, £5). Friday 24 May: Sketchfest starts and carries on through the weekend at The Victorian Vaults in Shoreditch. Acts include Allnut and Simpson, The Pin and the very wonderful Robin and Partridge. There are two double-billed shows a night, tickets are £12 / £9 for a single show, £20 / £15 for a day ticket and £50 for a weekend pass. Saturday 25 May: Mark Thomas has spent the last year committing 100 minor acts of dissent and the results will be his new Edinburgh show. See a preview at Hen and Chickens (9.30pm, £6.50). Book ahead:  Adam Buxton is trying out new stuff at the relatively wee Invisible Dot on 28, 29 and 31 May as well as July (7.45pm / 8.45pm, £8). Tip us off to friendly, intelligent, alternative comedy around town tips@londonist.com, read our guide to watching live comedy in London and our top 10 themed comedy nights.

Emirates Stadium side 'expected' to snap up experienced campaigner. Check in to Newcastle United vs Arsenal Arsenal are set to sign QPR keeper Julio Cesar according to the Daily Mirror. The 33 year old Brazilian international is 'expected' to join the North London club on a free transfer as QPR look to offload their big earners following their relegation to the Championship. Loftus Road owner Tony Fernandes is so keen to have Cesar's £70k a week salary wiped off the balance sheet that he's willing to let the former Inter Milan man leave on a free transfer. Arsene Wenger may well feel the need to bring in a new custodian as Wojciech Szczesny has been less than assured between the sticks this term and Lukasz Fabianski is still to convince the Gunners boss of his worth as a first choice starter. Despite QPR's relegation Cesar has been a relatively successful signing for the West London side, notably keeping two clean sheets in fixtures against Chelsea. Prior to his move to the Premier League Cesar spent seven seasons at the San Siro, during which time he made 300 appearances and won five Serie A titles and a Champions League winners medal.

Adidas produce a special pair of boots for the England veteran to wear for what will be the final game of the 38 year old's illustrious career. Check in to PSG vs Brest