Grocery Reviews

At a quick glance, these Banana Drizzled With Dark Fudge Newtons Fruit Thins look like Keebler Fudge Stripes cookies that were made by a drunk Keebler elf who turned to the bottle to help him cope with the fact that he works and lives in the same tree. Or maybe these Banana Drizzled With Dark Fudge Newtons Fruit Thins were made by a former Keebler elf who got tired of squeezing the straight lines of fudge on each Keebler Fudge Stripes cookie. All right, no elves produced these crispy cookies and they were made by a multi-million dollar machine in a huge factory somewhere. But, damn, I wish I was your lover…oh sorry, that Sophie B. Hawkins song has been showing up a lot in my 90s Pandora station. I meant to say, damn, that multi-million dollar machine makes one mean cookie. I don’t want to brag, but when Nabisco first introduced their Newtons Fruit Thins, I knew they would put out a banana version of their crispy cookie. Although, to be honest, I thought they would’ve paired the fruit with nuts and not dark fudge. I mean, just imagine a banana with some nuts. Don’t you think that’s a great combination? It totally makes sense. And I thought my idea was better, but the more I ate these Newtons Fruit Thins the more I realized how stupid my banana and nut cookie idea was. The dark fudge drizzle is what makes these light and crispy cookies so wonderful. Its mild sweetness complements the mild flavor of the cookie with dried banana pieces baked in. It’s a perfect balance that’s extremely toothsome. As a banana lover, I’m glad the fudge doesn’t overwhelm the banana and I’m also happy Nabisco didn’t go all fudge crazy and decide to dip these cookies completely into fudge, much like their Oreo Fudge Cremes. However, at times, I thought the banana and fudge combination tasted much like a graham cracker, which I’m not sure is a bad thing. While the fudge drizzle helps these cookies taste awesome, they also cause the cookies stick together in the packaging and make these Newtons Fruit Thins slightly less wholesome than their non-drizzled brethren. These Banana Drizzled With Dark Fudge Newtons Fruit Thins are made with real fruit and whole grains just like all the other Newtons Fruit Thins, but, thanks to the dark fudge, it has ten more calories, a gram more of saturated fat, and a gram more of sugar than the non-drizzled varieties. Also, while I’m in the middle of pointing fingers at the fudge drizzle, I’d like to note that a package of these cookies weighs in at 8.75 ounces, while a package of the non-drizzled Newtons Fruit Thins is 10.5 ounces. So we’re getting less cookies. Cookie Monster would not approve. However, those are minor issues that will be forgotten once you start stuffing your maw with these delicious Banana Drizzled With Dark Fudge Newtons Fruit Thins. (Nutrition Facts – 3 cookies – 150 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 100 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.) Other Banana Drizzled With Dark Fudge Newtons Fruit Thins reviews: Junk Food Guy Item: Banana Drizzled With Dark Fudge Newtons Fruit Thins Purchased Price: $3.68 Size: 8.75 oz. Purchased at: Walmart Rating: 8 out of 10 Pros: These are awesome crispy cookies. Wonderful balance of banana and fudge. Fudge and banana combo is a much better idea than my banana and nut combo. Best tasting Newtons Fruit Thins flavor (thanks fudge). Contains whole grain and real fruit. Cons: Slightly worse for you than regular Newtons Fruit Thins. No significant benefits from real fruit it contains. Less cookies than non-drizzled Newtons Fruit Thins. Fudge causes the cookies to stick together. Related posts: NEWS: Nabisco Introduces

While these reviews are always a lot of fun to write, and hopefully slightly enjoyable to read as well, I want to be serious for a second. A few weeks ago, we found out my younger daughter is allergic to peanuts (and tree nuts, and sesame), culminating in a Mother’s Day trip to the emergency room. Fun! She’s perfectly fine — we’re learning what foods to buy and our house contains more adrenaline shots than the sets of Pulp Fiction and Crank combined — but it really caught us off guard. Between this and my older daughter getting a peanut stuck up her nose last year, I’m starting to think my ancestors owed George Washington Carver money or something. Regardless, I mention this to explain why I was hesitant to pick up this new, peanut-y flavor of Ben & Jerry’s, exclusive to 7-Eleven. I could always keep it in the freezer at work, but it’s hard to write a review when you’re supposed to be… well, working. (Okay, it’s not HARD, but it’s frowned upon.) Eventually I relented and brought it home, but I’ll say this: it’s a new experience to run out to the garage fridge every time I want to eat some ice cream, then make sure I wash my hands when I come back in. At least it’s summer; can you imagine me huddled out there in December, piteously lifting the spoon with shivering blue hands? Honestly, the lengths I theoretically might have gone to for you people. Eschewing cutesy names like Karamel Sutra or I Wanna Dip My Malt Balls In It, this time B&J have elected to just tell you what it is: there’s nuts, there’s caramel, it’s swirled together. Transparency can be nice, though it feels a bit like watching a Michael Bay film titled “Stuff Blows Up and Also There’s a Pee Joke, Plus Boobs.” Maybe 7-Eleven stockholders hate puns, or possibly they just figured anyone making an impulse ice cream purchase while picking up a gallon of milk and some smokes wouldn’t properly appreciate clever wordplay.  Your loss, 7-Eleven. As for the appearance, you’ve seen B&J’s cartons before, obviously. The most noticeable difference is that the little emblem denoting the ingredients to be Fair Trade has changed — before it kind of resembled a stick figure, now it looks like the logo to Sea World. Maybe the peanuts were harvested on the ocean floor or have been secretly replaced with kelp?  Beyond that, the description promises nougat ice cream with peanuts, fudge flakes, and a salty caramel swirl. To put it mildly, that’s a lot to be getting on with. Your grandparents couldn’t find that many ingredients in an entire ice cream parlor, and B&J have crammed it all into one flavor. How will that play out? Rather well, as it turns out, though not without some flaws. The peanuts are instantly recognizable, and extra enjoyable since they’ll pretty much never be allowed in this house again. The nougat ice cream is very rich and sweet; I’m a nougat fan, and this definitely gets the job done. The fudge can likewise easily be detected, and it and the peanuts are present in impressive quantities. So what didn’t I like? Well, either there isn’t much caramel or the fudge is serving to mask it, because it doesn’t completely disappear but can easily be lost in the shuffle. Likewise, you’re not going to be able to tell whether the swirl is salty or not, although the peanuts fill that niche anyway, so the end result in your mouth is basically the same. I guess if you’re reeeeally reaching, it can be a bit tough to chew at times, though I personally like the textural variety and it’s certainly not going to be breaking your jaw.  And as I mentioned earlier, the sheer number of ingredients can make for a slightly schizophrenic taste experience, though certainly not an unpleasant one. I feel like nearly every Ben & Jerry’s review wraps up nearly

These thin, round ginger cookies were supposed to include almonds as well, but they really didn't seem much different from IKEA's non-almond version. ...

If I'm feeling like a splurge, I often turn to chocolate. In this case, my splurge resulted in this Vosges mini bar sampler pack. I bought it on special the day after Thanksgiving last year, and it wasn't a bad deal! The pack came in a bundle of cookie mixes and other chocolates that I doled out as Christmas gifts, but I greedily kept the sampler for me.Vosges is known for some pretty wild flavors (carrot or Absinthe, anyone?), but the flavors I'll cover in this review are fairly tame. The Woolloomooloo is a slight variation on the winning combination of nuts + chocolate, and the Peppermint Candy Cane bar is perfect for Christmas (or maybe Christmas in July by the time I post this review). The Woolloomoloo bar smelled like butter and macadamia nuts. It was quite salty from start to finish. The chocolate was soft and just a tad sticky, but it was velvety and had a lovely cocoa flavor. The hemp seeds added a soft crunch, and while I couldn't taste the coconut, it did add to the texture. With the exception of the salt, the flavors were all quite subtle, and the combination of tastes and textures made for an interesting bar.B+ Peppermint and dark chocolate are normally great together, but this bar was too minty for me. The mint was so intense I thought there might have been peppermint oil infused into the chocolate, and it felt chilly on my tongue. The dark chocolate had a nice, crisp snap and the candy cane bits added a good candy crunch without being too sharp. I can't bring myself to give this bar a C because the ingredients were great, but it was hard to get past that chill. Mint lovers only for this one! B-Vosges website

These large knotted pretzels were indeed quite thin, and the shapes very nearly resembled hearts, with unusually pointy bottoms for knotted pretzels. ...

Much like the strawberry version, these "pastry crisps" were shaped like energy bars but made from the same basic materials as Pop-Tarts. ...

In this episode, Dubba eats ice cream that makes his hands shimmer; Ryan shows off his deep fried food knowledge; listen to Eric’s voice start off bad, but magically get better after five minutes into the show; and find out what snack makes me cry. We also talk about Watermelon Oreo cookies, fast food fajitas, and our Noshes of the Week! You can subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher Radio, or, if you want to listen in the podcast player of your choice, subscribe to the show’s feed. If you enjoy the show and subscribe to it on iTunes, we would greatly appreciate it if you took the time to rate us. You can also download the episode or listen using the player below: The show notes can be found on The Nosh Show website. Thanks for listening! Related posts: ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nosh Show Episode 3 ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nosh Show Episode 5 ANNOUNCEMENT: The Fourth Episode of The Nosh Show ANNOUNCEMENT: Episode 2 of The Nosh Show ANNOUNCEMENT: Introducing The Nosh Show

Dear readers, I am here to tell you that you have been tricked. Bamboozled. Flim-flammed. By McDonald’s, of all places. The most universally trusted fast food restaurant in the world. Okay, that’s probably not true. Neither is the idea that you’ve been tricked, per se. The truth is, McDonald’s has, rather quietly, removed the Angus Third Pounders from their menu and replaced them with three new Quarter Pounders. The old Angus Third Pounders were Bacon and Cheese, Deluxe, Mushroom and Swiss, and, later on, the Chipotle BBQ Bacon and Cheddar Bacon Onion. A lazy amount of Internet research seems to indicate that the Angus Third Pounders weren’t doing that well, possibly due to their high price – $3.99 – in relation to the rest of their menu and the current trend towards value menus. This idea is directly contradicted by the fact that the new Quarter Pounders are the exact same price, so I’m just going with “nobody seemed to like the Angus Third Pounders so we’re trying something else”. The new Quarter Pounders are Bacon and Cheese, Deluxe and Bacon Habanero Ranch. Guess which one I chose to review? …Oh, right, you don’t have to guess. It’s in the review title. Gosh darn spoilers. The Bacon and Cheese and Deluxe varieties are just as boring as you can imagine they are, containing ingredients like…bacon, and…cheese. I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to be impressed with in the Deluxe – it’s got mayo, and lettuce, and tomatoes, and zzzzzzzzzzzz. So I find myself with the Bacon Habanero Ranch Quarter Pounder, which, in stark contrast to the other two, actually sounds interesting. “A quarter pound* of 100% beef topped by smooth white cheddar,** thick-cut Applewood smoked bacon, tomato and leaf lettuce, and a spicy-cool habanero ranch sauce, all on a toasted, bakery-style bun.” If you’re curious about the asterisks, the first lets you know that’s the weight before cooking and the second informs you that the cheese is pasteurized process. There, I’ve done my boring due diligence. At this point I was about to launch into the part where I actually eat the fucking burger, but I stumbled upon something on McDonald’s website that I just could not, in good conscience, ignore. In recent times I’ve made a point of not poaching pictures, because I’m pretty sure there’s copyright issues involved. But a picture is worth a thousand words, which I’ll probably end up writing anyways, and I just couldn’t help myself on this one. So up it goes until I get a cease and desist email from Ronald. Look at it. Love it for its ridiculousness. HABANEROS SLAPPING YOUR TONGUE! ZING! Bacon shaming! The tongue-slapping is my obvious favorite, but I’m also very fond of, “I see you looking at me?” With some different punctuation, it could be construed as an amusing threat from the aggressive habanero pepper. But phrased as a question, it a.) makes no goddamn sense and b.) makes the habanero sound insecure. I’m lovin’ it. (Please kill me.) Okay. Burger time. Hab. First off, I took pictures and ate my Bacon Habanero Ranch Quarter Pounder before I did all that researchy stuff, which led to me being surprised by the lack of habanero peppers on my burger. I thought it was bacon, habanero and ranch, not bacon and habanero ranch. I was a little disappointed, but that’s okay. As far as I can remember, this is the first time a major fast food chain has gone habanero, in any form. In case you didn’t know, habaneros are pretty serious business. To give you a point of comparison, jalapeño peppers rate between 3,500–8,000 units on the Scoville scale, while habaneros are between 100,000–350,000 units. Even if you don’t know what the Scoville scale is, and you should, you can see the impressive disparity in those numbers. What I’m trying to say here is that habaneros are hot. Let’s

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments. If I watched Top Chef, I’m sure this would’ve been a big deal to me. If a company made a frozen meal conceived by a Masterchef, then I’d be all over that because Masterchef is my jam…mainly because I don’t subscribe to cable. (Spotted by Marvo at Target.) Whaaaaa? Potatoes get graded? Whaaaaa? Ore-Ida uses unnatural ingredients in their other potato wedges? (Spotted by Marvo at Target.) Oh, Kraft! You’re so wonderful at helping my lazy ass in the kitchen! (Spotted by Nicolas at Meijer.) To be honest, I had no idea there was Asian yogurt…and I’m Asian. (Spotted by Kayla at Safeway.) Enough with the sweet stuff, Fiber One! How about tackling the salty stuff, like potato chips and pizza. (Spotted by Adam at Walmart.) Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post. Related posts: SPOTTED ON SHELVES (STORE BRAND EDITION) – 2/8/2013 SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 4/5/2013 SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 5/31/2013 SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 4/12/2013 SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 4/19/2013

It's time to emerge from blogtirement! It's been a little while, but before it got too hot to ship chocolate to my house, I purchased this 9-pack of Tirol chocolates from napaJapan. It's the standard assortment, though Tirol always rotates a few limited edition flavors in and out of these packs.Some of these flavors have been reviewed here before, including Milk, Hot Cake, and White & Cookie Crunch. Some of the never-before reviewed on this blog flavors in this assortment are classic Tirol chocolates, so most of them should be easy to find online or in Japanese import grocers. One of the rotating flavors in this mix was Caramel Bis, which is a twist on the classic Bis. The dark chocolate and caramel chocolate layers reminded me of purin. The lighter caramel chocolate was sweet and creamy, and it mixed well with the darker, slightly bitter chocolate base. The center biscuit added a fun crunch, but as usual, not much flavor. The darker chocolate was a nice touch and it made this flavor stand out. According to the Collection section of Tirol's website, Chocolate Almond has been through a few different wrappers before the cute one we see today was introduced in 1996. The tried and true combination of almond and chocolate is just what you'd expect. The chocolate smelled nice and nutty, and it a little sticky but melted smoothly. The almond had a crunchy caramelized coating and it imparted hints of cherry flavor. According to the Tirol website, the Milk Nougat flavor was introduced in 1983 and the Swiss-inspired packaging hasn't changed since then. I tried to break this one in half for the second picture but the nougat was too hard! The piece only smelled of plain chocolate, but the nougat had a slightly nutty flavor. I liked the taste but wasn't crazy about the texture; the nougat was at first sticky like taffy, then crumbly, and finally it got stuck in my teeth. Regular Bis is one of Tirol's standard flavors, and it's also one of my favorites. It's a simple combination of sweet milk chocolate and a crunchy, cracker-like biscuit. The biscuit was dry and pretty bland, but it added a nice crunch and balanced the sweetness of the milk chocolate. Strawberry was a simple pink strawberry filling covered in milk chocolate. The filling was creamy, fluffy, and full of strawberry seeds. Despite a slightly soapy taste, the strawberry flavor wasn't bad. On the whole, it was quite sweet.Finally, the black wrapped piece printed with "TIROL" in rainbow letters is the Coffee Nougat flavor. Much like the Milk Nougat, the nougat center was a little hard. It smelled mostly of chocolate and just barely of coffee. The nougat had a mild, lightly roasted coffee flavor, and once again, stuck to my teeth.Overall, this collection was a B. The Caramel Bis was my favorite of the bunch, but though they may be classics, I just wasn't crazy about either nougat flavor.Tirol website