Dear Bossip,
I have been reading your blog forever and I love it. You give very good and meaningful advice.
I thought that maybe I should ask a few questions myself.
First, I am in a relationship with a man who I have loved since I was i...
Dear Bossip,
I have been reading your blog forever and I love it. You give very good and meaningful advice.
I thought that maybe I should ask a few questions myself.
First, I am in a relationship with a man who I have loved since I was in high school because he was so cute to me. Well, we recently have gotten back into each other’s lives and have been together since then. He has two kids by two different women who are nowhere near us. They are in two different states. One of his kids got taken away because the mother abused the child and the other is living with the mother who goes from man to man and moves around a lot following a man.
Now, we have a baby and we live together. He’s a good father to my son and takes care of all his needs like a father should. His other kids he doesn’t get to see because the moms kept them away. But, now one of the mothers wants him to take his child for the summer all of a sudden. I feel it’s because the man has another kid, and she doesn’t want to keep the child so she can go be with a man. Also, she has never really raised the child her mother has, and the kid doesn’t really know him either. Also, he pays child support and she has full custody of the child.
He’s said that me and our baby is his family and that is what he is focused on, what is in front of him, and he can’t change what happened in the past he can only focus on right now, our family. He also said that he couldn’t take the child, who is 10-years old, because he works at night and I work during the day. Who would watch him? It would be impossible. Also, not to mention the boy hasn’t seen him in five years and let alone doesn’t really have a connection with him.
My question is why does his exes bother me so much even though it has been years since they have been together and he is faithful to me, but I keep bringing up his past relationships? I keep thinking about what he did for them or why was he with such ratchet women. Also, should I leave the situation alone about his son because I have my own child to raise and let whatever is going to happen, happen, because I feel that the only one hurt in this situation is the child, and the situation all in all was before me?
When I bring up his past women that he has been with he says why does it matter, I’m with you. Not to mention he doesn’t care about my past. Also, I have to confess that I recently seen one of the mothers on Facebook, and I looked at her pictures, which made me question things even more. Am I creating all of this drama on my own in my head or am I justified to be bothered by the other moms? – Where Do We Go From Here
Dear Ms. Where Do We Go From Here,
SMDH! You women who think you’re better than the other women your man has been with, and all this comparing yourselves is trite and pointless. Why do you think you are better than the other two baby mommas? You are baby momma number three! HELLO! So, is it because he is telling you things you want to hear, and you live together, and he downplays his relationships with them by telling you that you’re his one and only, and he really wants to be a family with you. Yet, you’re not married, and you’re playing house just like he did with the other two women. (Looks and sounds familiar?)
Then, you rant about how the other mother’s are not letting him see his kids, but, by your man’s own admission he hasn’t been involved with his children because they are a part of his past, and he doesn’t want anything to do with the mothers, yet, the children are suffering because of his sad, trifling, and no-good for nothing a**! What does the children has to do with him not being a father? What does the children has to do with him not being involved in their lives? They are the innocent victims in this situation, and they are being penalized, punished, and abused because he doesn’t want to be a man and own up to his responsibilities. Get the freak out of here with that –ish!
And, no, you don’t need to be involved with the affairs of his