Moms

I am not a perfume fan. At all. Perfume makes me feel sick, actually, so I do not wear it. Haven't for years. Which is why my obsession for fragrant things, specifically fragrant things to put on my body is strange. But also not strange ...
I am not a perfume fan. At all. Perfume makes me feel sick, actually, so I do not wear it. Haven't for years. Which is why my obsession for fragrant things, specifically fragrant things to put on my body is strange. But also not strange because smell is perhaps the most underrated sense we have as humans. Smell influences taste in every sense (ha!) and is something we should spend more time discussing. Because sometimes we cannot change the way we look or feel... but smell. Ah, we can smell like whatever we wish... or nothing at all. But also... there are things out there in the world and sometimes these things make us feel happy or sexy or just... you know, good... to smell.God, what am I even saying right now? I do not know. What I do know is that I have stumbled upon many a wonderful smell-good things as of late and I have decided to make it my personal mission these next few months to recommend my faves.Because perfume is so last century. And, when worn improperly, invasive to the personal space of friends and strangers who are now experiencing eau de dizziness and Coco de nausea c/o all those Sephora samples. (ED: I can't even go to Sephora anymore. It gives me legit morning sickness.)First up? This saucy little number which I am recommending to you because it smells amazing/makes your skin feel awesome and might help you want to have sex more. With yourself, if nothing else.I have no idea where it came from or who sent it to me or how old it is but when we moved I discovered it in a box and have been lathering my afre-shower self with it ever since.It smells like a lavender if lavender were to fuse with green apple that time traveled from the 1920s and then exploded mid flight and got a little dusty? And then became oil. (I am terrible at describing the way things smell but intend to work on this and hopefully, improve with time.)Also? It's $20 and will last you an entire year if you use it sparingly. It also might help reduce stretch marks I just realized? Which would explain when/where it came from. Ahem. GGC
40 minutes ago
Again, back story first. My car collision was more than two months ago, but I am still “enjoying” the pain-numbing effects of a Fentanyl patch, such as lack of energy, emotional instability, forgetfulness that my arm doesn...
Again, back story first. My car collision was more than two months ago, but I am still “enjoying” the pain-numbing effects of a Fentanyl patch, such as lack of energy, emotional instability, forgetfulness that my arm doesn’t work right yet and frequent break-outs as a sweaty mess when I do too much. Fast forward to yesterday when I attempted a fieldtrip because one dog is late on his rabies shot and the other dog is due.  The close and handy Petco (read: not in the ghetto) only has a shot clinic on Friday night and we had a conflict. SO, my two daughters and I along with the two pooches planned a mid-morning trip to another not-so-handy and not-close-at-all Petco (read: in the ghetto).  Little did we realize that everyone who lives in the slums also decided to get their dogs’ rabies shots yesterday morning.  The pain patch + 2 squirrely dogs + Petco full of dogs and “interesting” people = pandemonium to the third degree. We parked in the lot and discussed who would hold the leashes while we crossed traffic and entered the store BEFORE we opened any of the doors.  That was the only moment when things went down as planned.  Being unable to hold a yanking-leash in my right hand, I held onto my little girl’s hand.  My big girl held the wiener dog and had the rat terrier on a leash. So far. So good. As we entered the store, Ringo, the wiener dog decides to announce our arrival with his big-dog voice and won’t shut up, which invited all the other dogs in the store to welcome us as well.  I glanced to my right and saw the clinic table set up and three people in line. We made our way down the center aisle of the store with our heads glued to the right as we were overcome row after row at the length of the line. Finally toward the rear of the establishment, we discovered our place right behind an over-fed and under-socialized huge yellow lab.  At our arrival, the lab went ballistic barking and pulling his owner off balance (a full grown man) to get to our puny doggies. Breathing deeply though my nose to gain composure and accept the fact that we were in for a long wait, I suggested to my eldest that she get a cart to put our doggies in for their own protection. In the blink of an eye, the red leash on the rat terrier was handed to the little nine-year-old hand that didn’t close in time to stop the escape of Trixie.  Without thinking (obviously) I screamed, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” which was pretty obvious….. she was not holding the dog leash.  It has been many years since I have moved that fast.  Trixie was running with her ears back and her tail tucked and was bee-lining for the front door. It must have been quite a sight for all the people standing in line seeing the teeny white dog dragging a red leash followed by the flash of a woman at the end of the row. Near the registers I was able to step on the end of the leash and clothesline the AWOL fugitive.  Trixie’s head stayed in place and I’m sure she was trying to figure out why her tail just passed her head. While reaching down to grab the red restraint, my sun glasses tumbled out of my purse and made a sizable raucous to draw more attention to the woman who couldn’t control her tiny mongrel. Victoriously I gathered my glasses and my hound and casually walked back to the rear of the store not making eye contact with anyone who just witnessed the overthrown departure (read: hot sweaty mess, shaky hands, emotionally volatile).  A ten-year-old terrier wasn’t going to get the best of me.  No sirree. As previously planned, my eldest went to retrieve a cart to protect our pets.  Meanwhile, back in the ghetto, Jim Bob’s homemade collar on the fat yellow dog gave way and the mutt pounced on my pup.   His owner sluggishly slurred, “Well, how’d that happen?” as he slowly made moves to re-tethered his pooch.  That dog was going to have to get through ME to have one mini sniff a
about 1 hour ago
Writing is thought crystallized on a piece of paper ~ Tim Ferriss The visionary starts with a clean sheet of paper, and re-imagines the world ~ Malcolm Gladwell The... Visit my blog for the f...
Writing is thought crystallized on a piece of paper ~ Tim Ferriss The visionary starts with a clean sheet of paper, and re-imagines the world ~ Malcolm Gladwell The... Visit my blog for the full crazy suburban fa la la..
about 2 hours ago
Following a cast of characters through their lives over almost forty years is a formidable task, yet it’s one that Meg Wolitzer has taken on with her new novel The Interestings. This is one of this season’s much-talked about ...
Following a cast of characters through their lives over almost forty years is a formidable task, yet it’s one that Meg Wolitzer has taken on with her new novel The Interestings. This is one of this season’s much-talked about books, and after consuming the 480 page novel in just a few days, I’m in the “loved it!” camp of readers. In the summer of 1974, Julie Jacobson went away to an arts-themed summer camp run by two aging hippies, and at fifteen, the course of her life was set into motion as the result of one nonchalant invitation. After accepting her tent mate Ash’s invitation to hang out with her group of friends, Julie was transformed from a self-perceived “nothing” into Jules, someone who belonged in a group of irony-loving, slightly profane adolescents. The six teenagers who sat together in Boys Teepee 3 could never have fathomed the ways in which their futures were intertwined, with some relationships set to wax and wane over the years, and others to go down unimaginable paths. That first night they all crowded onto the dirty floor of the teepee, their jokes a mix of typical adolescent silliness and a budding sense of the disturbing nature of the politics and social issues of the day, they embraced a name for themselves. “The Interestings” was meant to be ironic, a stab at their perceptions of being inconsequential. For Jules, in her awe at these personalities like none she’d ever met before, the name was more than fitting: The name was ironic, and the improvisational christening was jokily pretentious, but still, Julie Jacobson thought, they were interesting. These teenagers around her, all of them from New York City, were like royalty and French movie stars, with a touch of something papal. Everyone at this camp was supposedly artistic, but here, as far as she could tell, was the hot little nucleus of the place. She had never met anyone like these people; they were interesting compared not only with the residents of Underhill, the New York suburb where she’d lived since birth, but also compared with what was generally out there, which at the moment seemed baggy suited, nefarious, thoroughly repulsive. Jules finds the others the most fascinating, often continuing to feel like an outsider among the group even many years later. Yet Wolitzer has made her the center of the story, with the others’ lives being described around her and her perception of them. None of them are perfect by any means, and through the course of almost four decades, they all make missteps in their own ways, and to certain degrees of significance. Through it all, though, they remain emotionally connected in a way that can often happen when people first meet at such a pivotal time of development. Wolitzer is a masterful storyteller, taking readers from one moment in time to many years later with a seemingly passing statement, subtly foreshadowing events to come or referencing a distant time in the future. The chapters don’t always flow chronologically, but the tone is set in a way that it’s easy for readers to make the jumps in time, altering the images in their heads to account for aging or setting changes. The shifts allow for the stories to unfold gradually, and some character developments change course as stories are unveiled from the past. Personally, I loved this format, coming to expect some twists and turns from the past to be revealed to help inform the characters’ situations in the present time. I was completely drawn in by The Interestings, an incredible character-driven novel that had me openly weeping at times and utterly fascinated from beginning to end. Have I gotten you interested? We have one copy of THE INTERESTINGS to give away today. Enter via the rafflecopter below, US and Canada shipping addresses only, please. a Rafflecopter giveaway
about 4 hours ago
1. Julia and Lucy had a piano recital. They were just as proud of the number of cookies they ate at the post-recital reception as they were of their performances. 2. I pulled the world’s largest splinter out of the heel of Lucy&...
1. Julia and Lucy had a piano recital. They were just as proud of the number of cookies they ate at the post-recital reception as they were of their performances. 2. I pulled the world’s largest splinter out of the heel of Lucy’s foot. Look at that thing! And it was straight up in there. We both screamed when it came out. 3. Bee swallowed a penny. Again.
about 4 hours ago
You know how Pinterest can make you feel like a slacker mother whose cooking and homemaking and craft skills don’t compare with all the other mothers out there? Well, today for a change, it made me feel normal. No way would a sane ...
You know how Pinterest can make you feel like a slacker mother whose cooking and homemaking and craft skills don’t compare with all the other mothers out there? Well, today for a change, it made me feel normal. No way would a sane mother present these sandwiches to her children… Somehow, I think my kids will survive on plain old peanut butter and jelly. Author informationJill Smokler, AKA Scary MommyWhat started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill's stay-at-home days with her children, (Lily, Ben, and Evan) quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Learn more here.TwitterFacebookGoogle+The post Insane Works of Sandwich Art appeared first on Scary Mommy: An honest look at motherhood.
about 9 hours ago
On an evening when Kristin’s returned from a business trip and Erin’s back from yet another baseball game, we chat about how a momentary distraction while driving can have unintended consequences. Then we talk about a couple ...
On an evening when Kristin’s returned from a business trip and Erin’s back from yet another baseball game, we chat about how a momentary distraction while driving can have unintended consequences. Then we talk about a couple of stories lighting up the blogosphere this week: Angelina Jolie’s big decision and how the 1% in America “Do Disney.” Links mentioned: The Internet is Made of Cats | Minecraft – Creeper | Good Samaritan Law | It Can Wait campaign | Groundbreaking Surgery for Girl Born Without Windpipe | Angelina Jolie’s Disclosure | Angelina Jolie – My Medical Choice | Still Alice | Nashville |Rich Manhattan moms hire handicapped tour guides so kids can cut lines at Disney World  | Amy’s Baking Company Freaks Out Online After Epic Meltdown On Gordon Ramsay’s ‘Kitchen Nightmares’ | Men Brought to Tears During ‘Going Into Labor’ Simulation | Disney retreats from Princess Merida makeover after widespread criticism | Brave director criticises Disney’s ‘sexualised’ Princess Merida redesign Listen: iTunes | mp3
about 12 hours ago
I’ve been a bit MIA the past week. That’s because I’ve been on and off the phone with the breastfeeding center lactation consultants–my one-year-old has been biting. The poor thing is teething and is taking it out...
I’ve been a bit MIA the past week. That’s because I’ve been on and off the phone with the breastfeeding center lactation consultants–my one-year-old has been biting. The poor thing is teething and is taking it out on my nipples. I was unprepared for this as my older son ever bit me a handful . . . → Read More: Chomp!
about 14 hours ago
Way back in 2008, someone left me a blog comment on this post: “Photos are great. Like the ducks you’re managing to keep things looking well on the surface despite all the furious paddling going on underneath.” Stan, if by a...
Way back in 2008, someone left me a blog comment on this post: “Photos are great. Like the ducks you’re managing to keep things looking well on the surface despite all the furious paddling going on underneath.” Stan, if by any chance you’re still out there, I’ve never forgotten that particular turn of phrase. It’s just so wonderfully perfect, and often remains true to this day. For instance, the utter and RELENTLESS shitshow of setting up a photo in which I appear with my own children. When I take a photo of JB with the boys, I often do it when they’re not looking. Or I ask them to look up from whatever they’re doing and quickly snap the photo. I don’t pose them, is my point, because posing is a fucking nightmare. Photos of me and the kids? Almost always posed. And then this happens: “Guys, can I — guys! GUYS! GUYS. Pay attention. Stand over here for a second so I can — GUYS!!!” “Okay, Riley, you stand here, and Dylan, you — Dylan. DYLAN. Hello? Okay, can you — RILEY COME BACK HERE.” “All right, I’m just going to stand behind … Riley, don’t do that with your tongue. Riley. RILEY. Okay, Dylan — Dylan?” “Jesus, you guys. Okay, smile at Dad. Smile at Dad. Come on you guys, Dad is right there. Can you just … Riley. Your TONGUE. Put it BACK. In your MOUTH.” “Dylan, if you don’t stop picking your nose I swear to god.” “Okay! OKAY EVERYONE — what? Can you wait to pee for ONE SECOND?” “One! Two! Three! SMILE! Whew. Was that really so har — what? He was what? Oh god.” “Seriously you guys, come here. Huddle up. Look at me. Listen, I just want one photo. One photo. It shouldn’t be this difficult. Stand still and smile for one second and I swear I won’t bother you again. You can run around peeing and nose-picking for the whole rest of the day. Just one photo. Are we together on this? Are we a team? Okay high five! TEAM SHARPS!” “RILEY YOUR TONGUE.” “Last try. And then I hurl myself off this mountain. Last try. I’m a broken woman. You’ve broken me. Just smile at the camera. Or don’t. I don’t care any more. Life is unmanageable chaos, who was I to think otherwise. Entropy descends upon us all.” “Dylan please open your eyes. For the LOVE.” “You know what, I –” *click* “What do you mean, look at it and tell you if it’s good enough? It’s good enough. Whatever the shit is on that camera roll, it is now officially good enough. I hate everything and everyone. Let’s go.” All that paddling, but the amazing part is when I look back on the image — even just minutes later — I only see the surface. The happiness of our outing rather than the shitty experience and imperfect results of the dumb picture session. Photos are truly a miraculous thing. All & Sundry
about 15 hours ago
Jennifer here to share with you my thoughts on the book Mommy Time: 90 Devotions for New Moms by Sarah Arthur. We were compensated to write this post and sent a book to read, however all opinions listed are our own. I remember the first ...
Jennifer here to share with you my thoughts on the book Mommy Time: 90 Devotions for New Moms by Sarah Arthur. We were compensated to write this post and sent a book to read, however all opinions listed are our own. I remember the first time I became a mom. I was filled with fear and excitement every time I looked at my little bundle of joy. I did my best to devour every book and talk all of my mom friend’s ears off about what I could expect. Those times spent reading and chatting with friends were some of the best, because they helped shape how I handled that first year of being a mom. Now — there’s another book on the market to give you even more guidance — Mommy Time: 90 Devotions for New Moms by Sarah Arthur. Every new mom experiences a myriad of emotions—joy, love, the frightening, yet terrific reality that you are now responsible for a tiny little dependent. And in the midst of all these emotions—and burpings, feedings, diaper changes, and quick naps—moms need to be reminded of God’s awesomeness. In this gift-like book, new mom and best-selling author Sarah Arthur writes about how delivering her son three weeks early reminds her of God’s timing, how her trip home from the hospital with her newborn son tucked away in his car seat points to God being in control even when she is fearful, and how a mom’s concern over friendly strangers touching her young child in the grocery store also reminds her that people are sent to help. In a fresh and contemplative style, Arthur sits alongside Mom and helps her understand that God is in control . . . even when her life feels drastically out of control. This devotional will be a great companion for Mom during the small amount of time she gets to sit and be still and think of the truths of God’s word, while relating it to her new favorite subject—her baby. I really enjoyed reading through this book. It brought back a lot of memories of that first year (which is now long gone by 18 of them!) The best part about Mommy Time is that I don’t think it necessarily has to only be for the new mom. This book could definitely give any mom out there encouragement. This book would make the perfect baby shower gift anytime! Enter to win We are giving away 3 copies of this book. Use the Rafflecopter form to enter this giveaway. New to Rafflecopter? Watch this 45-second video on how to enter! a Rafflecopter giveaway What is your worst fear as a first time mommy?
about 18 hours ago