Movies

As I sit and stare at this blank slab of nothingness, trying desperately to come up with something clever to say, the scene from Roboforce (a.k.a. I Love Maria) where the female robot swoops in to rescue her male companions from certain death just in the nick of time is currently playing over and over again in my head. I think the reason this particular scene stands out from the rest is because I secretly wish I had a robot girlfriend, one who quotes Romeo and Juliet, drinks oil from a soda can and fires rockets from her wrists. Now, I realize what I just said is probably the dorkiest thing ever to be written in this site. But I don't care. I want a robot girlfriend, and I want it now! Oh, and if she could look exactly Sally Yeh, that would be great. I'm surprised you didn't go with robot Susan Tyrrell or robot Mary Woronov. Yeah, that was a tempting idea. However, I'd like to stick with the Sally Yeh model I saw in this Category III flick, directed by David Chung and Tsui Hark. Besides, I don't think Miss Tyrrell or Miss Woronov have the right temperament to play robots; they're too headstrong. At any rate, while I wouldn't exactly call myself a Category III expert, I think it's safe to say I have seen enough of them to know what to expect. And one of the main things I look for is weird shifts in tone. What I mean is, Hong Kong films made during this period seem to mix genres in a way that could be construed as haphazard. For example, one minute your watching a family-friendly action sequence where a buffoonish Tong Leung is attempting to take photographs of giant robot reeking havoc on a downtown street, and the next you're watching a forthright Sally Yeh put a bullet through the back of the head of some dweeb in a lab coat. Sometimes the shifts in tone occur onscreen simultaneously. The film's many bar scenes are prime example of this, as they mix slapstick comedy and over-the-top violence rather seamlessly. This style of filmmaking can be jarring to those who are not used to it; my first Category III film, Robotrix, is famous for being all over the map when it comes to tone (it's The Terminator meets Porky's). But I like said, now I think I'm better prepared to handle what they throw at me. And, believe me, you need to keep your eyeballs frosty while watching these films, as they will overwhelm and disorient the uninitiated. While not as awesome as Naked Killer (then again, nothing will ever be as awesome as that film), nowhere near as sleazy as Jailhouse Eros or Red to Kill, and not even close to being as insane as Robotrix, Roboforce (I actually prefer the title "I Love Maria," but decided at the last minute to go with the more generic-sounding "Roboforce") does have its moments. It's true, none of these moments include a big-boobed Amy Yip openly mocking the laws of gravity, but don't discount the gorgeous Sally Yeh, her bulletproof bosom will melt your heart and arouse your genitals. No, seriously. You haven't lived until you have seen Sally Yeh tilt her head slightly to the side in a decidedly robot fashion. I know, almost every actor who has ever played a robot or cyborg has done the head tilting thing. One of my favourite head tilters being Hallie Todd as Lal, Lt. Data's android daughter in the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode titled: "The Offspring" (my eyes get moist and junk just thinking about that episode - dork!). Nevertheless, I thought Sally Yeh, who, according to her bio, was raised in Victoria, B.C., brought an inquisitive grace to her head tilting. Which is one of the keys to becoming successful in the cutthroat world of non-competitive head tilting. Think about it, head tilting is the physical manifestation of curiosity. The moment you stop tilting your head, is the moment you stop living. More on the art of head tilting in a second, a giant robot, one who doesn't tilt their head, is causing a shitload of havoc in the city's downtown core right this minute. A so-called "Van" that i

What better way to find out if you’re ready for fatherhood, than to find out that you’re already a father hundreds of times over? That’s the premise of Dreamworks’ new comedy, Delivery Man, which is about a middle-aged man facing a rather unusual mid-life crisis. Vince Vaughn plays David Wozniak, a forty-something underachiever who finds out that, as a result of donations that he made to a sperm clinic over two decades ago, he has unwittingly fathered 533 children, 142 of whom have filed a class action lawsuit in order to find out the identity of their father. This news comes shortly after David’s girlfriend (Cobie Smulders) tells him that she is pregnant with (though she does not know it) his 534th child, and expects him to step up to the plate and be a ...Click to continue reading First Teaser For ‘Delivery Man’: The Man Who Accidentally Fathered 533 Children

The Gerry Lane depicter made an unannounced appearance to promote his latest film in Hoboken on May 22.

The International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees and the Association of Independent Commercial Producers have reached a three-year successor deal covering technicians and artists who create commercials. The agreement was reached more than four months before the current pact expires on Sept. 30. In a joint announcement, the producers group and the union said they... Read more »

Dan Cutforth and Jane Lipsitz of the Magical Elves have come on to direct “EDC 2013: You Are the Headliner” documentary which covers the 2013 Electric Daisy Carnival. Cutforth and Lipsitz will partner with Insomniac and Haven Entertainment will produce the doc. The film will explore the festival experience through the eyes of the fans... Read more »

Hi all, it’s Tim, here on the eve of what is, by far, my most-anticipated summer release of 2013. Not, shockingly, The Hangover, Part III. Not even Epic. No, like most right-thinking people, 2013 for me is all about Before Midnight, the third film in one of cinema’s most unlikely series, in which we revisit lovers Celine (Julie Delpy) and Jesse (Ethan Hawke) ever nine years to see what they’ve been up to. The first time we met them in Before Sunrise, they met by accident on a train into Vienna, then in Before Sunset they had an afternoon to walk around Paris, and in this third entry- I have no idea, I’m on completely spoiler lockdown with this film, to the level where I won’t even look at the poster. But I’m willing to guarantee that whatever they’re up to, it’s going to have some very deep resonance and profound truth to speak about the lifespan of romantic relationships. For the benefit of anyone who hasn’t had the chance to see the earlier movies yet – please change that as soon as possible, I beg you – or to get series veterans riled up for its imminent return (like that’s even necessary), I wanted to share a few reasons that, for me, the first two Before… movies are some of the finest romantic dramas in the history of cinema.

Chalk this up as reason number 666 to visit the iconic Cinema Nova in Melbourne's hip north; every Friday a very diverse and strange happening coordinated by fanatical film devotees Zak Hepburn and Ben Buckingham is set to upset your brain and possibly stomach in the best way possible.The true definition of cult films (and not just a kitsch marketing throw-away term) will be playing every Friday night; from carnivorous classics (including two Cronenberg joints), to current buzz titles such as Citadel. You can take it all in if you happen to be a fan of, or are curious about punk sci-fi, blaxploitation, grindhouse, hardcore horror or Korean apocalypse anthology - huh? Well if you are into some of the above, the Cultastrophe program has... [Read the whole post on twitchfilm.com...]

The back half of May is looking to be a mighty fine time for film fans of all kinds who call the greater Los Angeles area their home. The following are a few choice cuts from the many special and repertory calendars that peppermint our fair city. While I am learning quite gosh darn fast that there are always things of note going down at The Cinefamily, the evening of May 31st proves to be quite the juggernaut. First up it's Sono Sion's 4-hour epic Love Exposure. A long checked Twitch favorite (I'm dreaming of those glory days at NYAFF 2009), Sono's manic meditation on Christianity, cults and devotion (let's call it love), is sure to draw diehard fans, but if you have yet to... [Read the whole post on twitchfilm.com...]

The 'Adult World' actor will act opposite Hugh Jackman, Jennifer Lawrence and Halle Berry in the upcoming 'X-Men' film from director Bryan Singer.

Giant blue screens! People fleeing for their lives! A wrecked Japanese fishing village! Yep it's all here in a healthy does of paparazzi images from the set of the now filming Godzilla! Read on for the goodies! Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Richard T. Jones, Elizabeth Olsen, Bryan Cranston, David Strathairn, Patrick Sabongui, Yuki Morita, Brian Markinson, Juliette Binoche, Akira Takarada, Victor Rasuk, and Ken Watanabe star. Gareth Edwards is directing the film from a screenplay by Max Borenstein, Frank Darabont, and Dave Callaham. Legendary’s Thomas Tull and Jon Jashni are producing with Mary Parent and Brian Rogers. Alex Garcia and Patricia Whitcher are serving as executive producers alongside Yoshimitsu Banno and Kenji Okuhira. First up a series of images of a wrecked fishing village courtesy of The Daily Mail. Next up some blue screen mayhem from Cdndutchie#74 on Flickr. Hit the link for more! And finally see things getting wild thanks to YVRShoots. Hit the link for more! A presentation of Warner Bros. Pictures and Legendary Pictures, Godzilla will be distributed worldwide by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company, except in Japan, where it will be distributed by Toho Co., Ltd. Legendary Pictures is a division of Legendary Entertainment. Slated to open on May 16, 2014, the film is expected to be presented in 3D. VISIT THE EVILSHOP @ AMAZON! Got news? Click here to submit it! Stomp around in the comments section below!