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Mad’s hard-hitting report on heretofore unknown secret menu items. Click to image for full-size version.Just when we think everyone has stacked every burger on top of every breakfast sandwich, or wrapped a waffle around every avail...
Mad’s hard-hitting report on heretofore unknown secret menu items. Click to image for full-size version.Just when we think everyone has stacked every burger on top of every breakfast sandwich, or wrapped a waffle around every available form of meat, a whole new world of secret menu items is uncovered. For their upcoming issue, on sale Oct. 23, Mad Magazine’s Scott Maiko and Mike Loew have compiled 21 heretofore hidden menu items into one graphic that exemplifies the magazine’s 60-year history of serious journalism. You can click on the image at the top to see the items, along with actual photographs proving that these are 100% authentic secret menu items and not at all fictional. Below are the full descriptions of each of the items, which range from the edible-but-why-would-you (Chicken McFlurry, Colonel’s Cheesy Discharge, Jacksonville Lube Job) to potential lawsuit territory (Sausage McMuffin with Sponge, Heimlich Delite, Trawler’s Haul) to ones some of us may have actually been served at some point (Ghost Taco Supreme, Extra Extra Extra Crispy chicken, Whopper Hyperdunk). McDONALD’S Grimace’s Lament: Equal parts creamy strawberry shake and Filet-o-Fish tartar sauce. Sausage McMuffin with Sponge: Toasted English muffin, savory sausage hot off the griddle, a slice of melted American cheese and the sponge they use to wipe the griddle clean when breakfast service is over. Chicken McFlurry: Reduced-fat soft serve vanilla ice cream with Chicken McNuggets swirled in, with caramel and barbecue sauce drizzled on top. TACO BELL Saucedilla: Six hot sauce packets folded into a freshly grilled tortilla. Ghost Taco: Crunchy corn taco shell unfettered by seasoned beef, crisp shredded lettuce and real cheddar cheese. Ghost Taco Supreme: Crunchy corn taco shell unfettered by seasoned beef, crisp shredded lettuce and real cheddar cheese, but loaded with sour cream. LONG JOHN SILVER’S Trawler’s Haul: Whitefish filet and eight shrimp served in an employee’s hair net. Low Tide at Innsmouth: Platter of fish, shrimp and hushpuppy remnants that fell through the basket and settled on the bottom of the deep fryer. (Call ahead to find out when they drain the oil!) Tropical Windstorm on the Farm: Salmon caesar salad dumped into a plastic grocery bag, then tossed and gently warmed by holding the bag under the hand dryer in the ladies’ room. KFC Colonel’s Cheesy Discharge: Fried chicken crumbs from the trays in the display warmer, swimming in a cup of mac & cheese sauce. Mass Grave: Large bucket with chicken byproducts (left over from processing of new “Boneless Chicken”) buried in mashed potatoes. Extra-Extra-Extra Crispy: Chicken pieces that have been left in the fryer overnight. (Order the night before.) SUBWAY Six-Inch Cleanup: Sub made entirely with items that have fallen into the wrong ingredient receptacles, garnished with the bits and crumbs that accumulate on that long white cutting board. Heimlich Delite: Avocado pits drenched in marinara sauce, served on your choice of bread. Lapsed Veggie: A sub piled high with peppers, tomatoes, cucumbers and lettuce, hiding the wads of roast beef, black forest ham, salami and bacon crammed underneath. ARBY’S Arby-LGBTQ: Standard Arby-Q sandwich prepared specifically by a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender employee. Potato Cake, Trapezoid Style: Shredded potato fried to a crispy golden brown, custom formed before frying from their regular triangular shape into a convex quadrilateral with at least one pair of parallel sides. Atlanta Dip: French Dip sandwich served with a cup of heated Coca-Cola syrup in place of au jus. BURGER KING Jacksonville Lube Job: Unwrapped Triple Whopper sliding around on a heavily-mayonnaised Whopper Jr. bun with extra mayo between each patty. (Available at drive-thru only and served without napkins.) Crispy Prince Albert: Chicken wrap with an onion ring attached to one end. Whopper Hyper
about 3 hours ago
–  Preheat oven to 350 °F (175 °F). –  Butter muffin pan. –  In a first bowl, mix yogurt and baking soda. –  In a second bowl, sift flour, baking powder and salt. –  In a third bowl, mix brown sugar, egg and oil. Add this to dry ingr...
–  Preheat oven to 350 °F (175 °F). –  Butter muffin pan. –  In a first bowl, mix yogurt and baking soda. –  In a second bowl, sift flour, baking powder and salt. –  In a third bowl, mix brown sugar, egg and oil. Add this to dry ingredients in small amounts, alternating with yogurt. –  Add vanilla extract, blue berries and bran flakes. Stir. Pour into muffin pan and bake...
about 4 hours ago
Another day, another overly-hyped hybrid pastry. Please, can we stop it with the Franken-pastries already? Just because you can splice two different baked goods and slap a cute name on it doesn’t mean any of us want to deal with ye...
Another day, another overly-hyped hybrid pastry. Please, can we stop it with the Franken-pastries already? Just because you can splice two different baked goods and slap a cute name on it doesn’t mean any of us want to deal with yet another round of hybrid pastry mania. As if the mania over the cronut and its bajillions of spinoff pastries wasn’t enough, Starbucks has launched The Duffin in the UK, a muffin, donut hybrid and sigh, make it stop. For those who haven’t grown weary to the bone over pastry mashups, Starbucks has rolled out the duffin in its 730 stores across the pond last week. It’s not a flash in the fryer for Starbucks either, apparently, as BusinessWeek notes that the newest menu addition is a permanent one. The duffin has a buttermilk base, and reportedly tastes “like a moist, cakey muffin, not the coarse, bready type.” It’s got the look of a muffin but the heart of a donut with a raspberry jam filling and sugar coating. “The Duffin follows a recent fusion trend of combining two bakery items into one hybrid,” explains Ian Cranna, vice president of marketing & category for Starbucks UK in pointing out the obvious.  “Since launching the Starbucks Duffin we have discovered that there are lots of other Duffins out there.” One British woman takes issue with the “since” part of that — she says she’s been making duffins and calling them that at her bakery for years, reports The Telegraph. She’s mad that Starbucks also snagged the trademark on the name. “I don’t mind if Starbucks chooses to create a version of my duffin, but don’t trademark it, which gives you the legal right to prevent anyone else using the name,” she says. All I know is that anyone eating a cronut or duffin and talking about it in my vicinity better keep a firm grip on it or I will smack it out of your hand and laugh as it falls to the ground. Just sayin’. Starbucks Launches Donut-Muffin, Yet Another Pastry for the Indecisive [BusinessWeek]
about 5 hours ago
Starbucks is locked in a “duffin” battle, and the inventive coffee chain is being accused of stealing the “duffin” concept from a small British bakery. Yes, the cronut can take a seat as the duffin — Starbuc...
Starbucks is locked in a “duffin” battle, and the inventive coffee chain is being accused of stealing the “duffin” concept from a small British bakery. Yes, the cronut can take a seat as the duffin — Starbucks allegedly at the fore of taking the hybrid pastry national — ascends. The BBC speaks of an unstoppable march of hybrid bakery products, and the duffingate scandal’s allegations by the duffinventor (hey, we can do portmanteaus also!) make a Beeb appearance: “Now we have the Duffin, a doughnut-muffin compound that captured headlines after it was trademarked by a Starbucks supplier, despite having been produced by an independent London tearoom for the past couple of years.” After Starbucks’ duffin hostile move, indie bakery Bea’s of Bloomsbury loudly objected that Starbucks — who overshot the small shop’s 2011 published duffin recipe — was “attempting to take over rights of something they didn’t create or really own.” Oh, it is croiss-on, people! Bea Vo, who is apparently actually named that, went on to say of Starbucks’ duffin tomfoolery: “It’s like someone trying to trademark ‘fairy cakes’ or ‘whoopie pies’ or ‘macarons.’ Duffins have been in existence for years and they are trying to trademark something that has been in the baking lexicon documented for at least two years.” To hear it from Starbucks, duffins originated not in a 2011 cookbook or earlier, but in a coffee boardroom. The company described duffins as a creation born as execs “sat together with our bakers and pondered how you could make a muffin go one step further.” Starbucks UK’s Ian Cranna addressed duffingate 2013, admitting that the duffin is in no way an exclusive creation — which we assume goes both ways. Cranna told press that the duffin is indeed an open-source baked good, explaining: “Since launching, we have discovered there are other Duffins out there in the UK including at Bea’s of Bloomsbury, which is great news for muffin and doughnut fans across the country… It’s true that our supplier Rich Products, who created our fabulous Duffin has trademarked the name in the UK. However we’d like to make it clear that neither Starbucks nor Rich Products has suggested to Bea’s of Bloomsbury that they will attempt to stop them selling their own Duffins.” While Starbucks’ duffin remains available, some say Bea’s could object despite the newer trademark. Duffingate! Starbucks Accused Of Ripping Off Duffin From Brit Baker is a post from: The Inquisitr News
about 6 hours ago
You would think only joyful celebration would follow the news that Starbucks has created the "Duffin," a doughnut-muffin crossover pastry. But instead, we've ended up with Duffingate, a tempest in a Twitter teapot. The story starts ...
You would think only joyful celebration would follow the news that Starbucks has created the "Duffin," a doughnut-muffin crossover pastry. But instead, we've ended up with Duffingate, a tempest in a Twitter teapot. The story starts a few years back, when a small British bakery chain, Bea's of Bloomsbury, began selling its own jam-filled doughnut-textured muffin that customers would soon dub the Duffin. All was right with the world until last week, when Starbucks U.K. announced its own Duffin—and even had its supplier, Rich Products, trademark the name. "I never trademarked the name duffin because I didn't think it was necessary," Bea's chef Bea Vo tells the Guardian. "We are a tiny independent—can we afford to fight this trademark and any future cease-and-desist letter? No." Starbucks reportedly says it won't enforce the trademark, but that hasn't stopped the digital fist-shaking from small business advocates. "Another reason to boycott Starbucks," notes one Londoner, "if the terrible coffee is not enough."
about 7 hours ago
Mix and sift dry ingredients. Add milk, well beaten egg, and shortening. Bake in muffin pans which have been greased, in a hot oven 25 or 30 minutes. Makes 1 dozen.
Mix and sift dry ingredients. Add milk, well beaten egg, and shortening. Bake in muffin pans which have been greased, in a hot oven 25 or 30 minutes. Makes 1 dozen.
about 8 hours ago
The tedious trend for hybrid desserts is getting nastier than a Marmite Cronut on a bed of tripe. It seems that Starbucks have started selling ‘Duffins’ – a cross between a doughnut and a muffin – and have trademarked the name. But pastr...
The tedious trend for hybrid desserts is getting nastier than a Marmite Cronut on a bed of tripe. It seems that Starbucks have started selling ‘Duffins’ – a cross between a doughnut and a muffin – and have trademarked the name. But pastry chef Bea Vo, of Bea’s of Bloomsbury, claims she invented the Duffin and has been selling them at her four London bakeries for 2 years. The Duffin is made using a buttermilk and nutmeg batter, which is baked and stuffed with strawberry jam, then dipped in butter and covered in icing sugar. The Starbucks Duffin, which has been registered by Starbuck’s supplier Rich Products Ltd, is made using buttermilk and nutmeg batter, which is baked and stuffed with strawberry jam, but they don’t bother with the butter dip. Ms Vo blasted the coffee chain, saying that it was inferior to her creation. She explained: ‘I didn’t really give it too much thought until I found out their version of the duffin also contains raspberry jam, nutmeg and buttermilk. My recipe, which was published in my cookbook back in August 2011, is the only one out there to carry all of those traits. Doughnut muffins have been around for a while, Nigella Lawson even has them in her first cookbook – but the style of mine, that is what makes it unique.’ (Not anymore.) Starbucks covered up their corporate Satan face with a realistic reasonable human mask and said: ‘Since launching, we have discovered there are other Duffins out there in the UK, including at Bea’s of Bloomsbury… however we’d like to make it clear that neither Starbucks nor Rich’s Products has suggested to Bea’s of Bloomsbury that they will attempt to stop them selling their own Duffins.’ Time to make up another crap novelty cake. What about a Doughmuff?
about 9 hours ago
Cream sugar and shortening. Add eggs, one at a time and beat well. Add syrup, then dry ingredients sifted together, alternating with buttermilk. Bake in greased pan or muffin tins at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes (12 min for muffins).
Cream sugar and shortening. Add eggs, one at a time and beat well. Add syrup, then dry ingredients sifted together, alternating with buttermilk. Bake in greased pan or muffin tins at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes (12 min for muffins).
about 10 hours ago
In large bowl, combine flour, oats, raisins, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon and salt; set aside. In small bowl, beat remaining ingredients until well blended. Pour into flour mixture and stir just until moistened (baiter will be lumpy)...
In large bowl, combine flour, oats, raisins, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon and salt; set aside. In small bowl, beat remaining ingredients until well blended. Pour into flour mixture and stir just until moistened (baiter will be lumpy). Divide among 12 greased or paper-lined2-l/2-inch muffin cups. Bake in 400 degree oven for 20-25 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in center of muffin comes...
about 10 hours ago
Megan Myers When fall arrives, I automatically start thinking about what meals I’m going to be creating in the slow cooker. It’s not just because of the cooler temperatures – the hustle and bustle of back-to-school routines and approachi...
Megan Myers When fall arrives, I automatically start thinking about what meals I’m going to be creating in the slow cooker. It’s not just because of the cooler temperatures – the hustle and bustle of back-to-school routines and approaching holidays makes getting dinner on the table fast a priority. Quick breads, biscuits and other no-yeast breads are a great way to round out a slow-cooker meal. They’re perfect for mopping up that last bit of broth in your bowl, and if you choose the right flavors, can be a wonderful complement to whatever has been bubbling away all day. Bacon Bread Use up extra bacon in this savory quick bread. Leftovers, if you manage to have any, are great toasted for breakfast the next day. Borough Market Cheddar Popovers Popovers seem fancy, but actually come together quickly. This cheese and chive version is perfect with a hearty beef stew. Whole Wheat Cornbread Muffins Cornbread holds its own against soups and stews, and this muffin version makes it handy, too. Those avoiding dairy should try our dairy-free cornbread recipe. Coconut Oil Biscuits These tender biscuits made with coconut oil are a nice change-up, but if you prefer a more classic biscuit, try our Fresh Herb Buttermilk Biscuits. Bacon, Walnut and Thyme Scones Scones mix up and bake in a flash, and can be customized in almost endless ways. Bacon is a hit again in this recipe, or try Cheddar and Chive Scones. What’s your favorite quick bread to pair with slow cooker meals? Please share in the comments!
about 11 hours ago