NYDN - Demi Moore’s latest yoga-teaching boy toy shockingly had a pearl inserted into his man parts as a teenager as part of a family tradition, Confidenti@l can exclusively reveal. Will Hanigan, 30, met the 50-year-old actress through a...
NYDN - Demi Moore’s latest yoga-teaching boy toy shockingly had a pearl inserted into his man parts as a teenager as part of a family tradition, Confidenti@l can exclusively reveal. Will Hanigan, 30, met the 50-year-old actress through a series of yoga classes after moving from Australia to Los Angeles and the couple have reportedly been dating for a month. “He had a pearl inserted in his penis when he was in his late teens,” said a source. “It is pearl farming tradition and he would always joke about it in Australia. He’d boast it’d give girls extra stimulation in the bedroom.” A third-generation pearl diver, Hanigan used to dive for Australia’s best-known pearl producer, Paspaley Pearls, and has his own jewelry business called Pinc. “When you see a beautiful pearl it makes your heart race and takes your breath away,” Hanigan told Western Australia’s news website Perth Now over the weekend. “It’s like seeing a rare and beautiful thing.” No word on whether Moore has gone fishing for Hanigan’s pearl, but friends of the Aussie say he is “besotted” with Demi, who is 20 years his senior. Dr. David Kaufman, of Central Park Urology, who assures Confidenti@l he’s “seen a few penises” in his day, weighed in on Hanigan’s hidden pearl. Kaufman said he’d advise him to take it out, but agreed that it could improve things between the sheets. Dr. Kaufman explains that if Hanigan’s leaving it in, it could erode through to the surface rather than into the tissue. But in the meantime, it may improve his sex life. “I think it would make sex better. It’s like a French tickler,” he said. “I can see that being a sexual thing to enhance his partner’s sexual response.”
Its no secret that I’m an absolute disaster in the bedroom. Its been chronicled many times on this blog. Any time I’ve blogged about the G Spot or pleasing women in any sexual capacity, I openly explained that I’m probably the worst fuck of your life, I have no chance of naturally getting you off, and to be honest I think pussies are so hard to figure out, I’m not even ashamed of it. So I am probably the last guy in the world that you should be turning to for opinions on a dude who has a fucking PEARL inserted into his cock. There is no way I could ever possibly care about making a chick cum to the point where I implant a foreign object in my dick. What the fuck does that even mean?? Did you shove it inside your dick hole? Implant it somewhere in the tip? Are you rocking the hooded dragon and put the pearl underneath? Like a garage for your penis-pearl? I cannot even begin to imagine what this fucking means.
I mean I’m sure there’s a ton of pressure when you’re fucking Demi Moore. She strikes me as the type of chick who destroys dicks and an average old penis probably ain’t getting her 50 year pussy off. But you know they have battery operated machines that can help you out right? Like there are all sorts of toys and tools and shit that you can turn to before “Putting a pearl inside your dick.” Fucking asshole.
PS – I love the ““When you see a beautiful pearl it makes your heart race and takes your breath away.” Yea bro when you see it on a pair of earrings or a ring or something. When you see it embedded in some dude’s foreskin it takes your breath away in that “Oh my God your dick is lumpy” sorta way.