Pittsburgh Penguins

hahahaha sorry we put this game on our Tumblr and forgot to post the recap here last game. Follow that shit if you can. Game 1 felt a little bit like a joke. The semifinals, now, feels like the center of a very dangerous storm. We're used to an NHL where things are not what they seem, where we march through surreal forests made of light with strangers and enemies. The idea that we could be doing something right is very frightening and not okay. NBC starts the broadcast by trying to do a graphic about Vokoun's shutout streak (going on 60 minutes) so things might be getting back to normal. God the speed of playoff hockey. And the NBC mics pick up the gasps of CEC so much better than ROOT. It's like we're right there. Hands on the glass. Crying and spitting. PAUL MACLEAN SPEAKING WORDS: A FILM BY WERNER HERZOG For the first time it really feels like the playoffs. Neal was wide open early on and while his shot was big and good and scary not much was going on. Kris Letang is skating like God. Something feels just. . .right. Sidney Crosby hopped on the ice and decided he was going to take a little stroll around Erik Karlsson. Karlsson was basically meaningless on that play. Bye bye. Sid Snipe. Anderson can't even deal. God The shrieks gif from Pensblog: Couple of beats later you hear the iron when Malkin hits the pipe. KOUUUUNNN chants raining down for routine saves. Pens get the first PP but it kind of makes the Pens look more human. Ottawa in their dicks. Looks more like even strength. Marc Methot gets a penalty for roughing after the next TV timeout though. Don't get too comfortable boys. Malkin almost scores but it dies dramatically short of the goal line. Pens get all kinds of confused retrieving in their own zone and they even allow a shorthanded chance. Come on assholes. Paul Martin keeps his chin strong and manly and manages to not let his pocket get picked behind the net. And also saves a sure shorty breakaway when three Senators attack him in the high slot. God damn, Paul Martin. Your balls. Gonch sighting: Gene eventually hooks someone because the Sens are fighting back. C'mon Gene baby don't you do us like this. Oddly the Senators power play doesn't look as oddly impotent as the Pens one. Turris has all kinds of room down by the goal line. Wham bam: fuck so, those power plays guys. Sounds like a turning point. Also hahahaha remember that "shutout streak" NBC good job NBC you figured out the secret. Vokoun looks intense behind his mask, like he has realized the dream is up, and it's time to do some more serious work. But I mean we have Sid, which apparently Anderson finds difficult to deal with. Sid beat him because his body language was faking pass pass pass. Anderson bought that little twitch. Pens finding their legs again ever so slowly as a result of this moment in which Anderson has been exposed as average. 2-1 what a period, you guys Early second, Karlsson completes his fucked up bildungsroman by hooking Neal on his way to the goal. GOOD JOB ERIK GOOD JOB ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE OKAY WE REALLY WISH YOU WEREN'T LIKE THIS WE WISH YOU WERE BETTER WE ARE SO SORRY THAT AN ACCIDENT BEFELL YOUR PERFECT BODY PP city. Wasn't even thinking about it because of how bad the last two were. They were that bad. Sid wins the faceoff a bit dirty. Malkin to Letang up top to Sid at the top of the left circle to HOLY SHIT WHAT A SHOT. This whole game so far has just been Sid proving that Anderson can't do this right now. And who is this guy? Robin Lehner? We haven't heard of him so he'll probably play his balls off. Good for you, boo. Lehner takes his first shot of his playoff career, an absolutely nasty little look from Dupuis after Cooke ran some kind of crazy cyle. Never mind that 2-goal lead though. Colin Greening proves to be The Most Dangerous Senator by coming off and scoring an easy goal on the rush. don't even want to dignify with a real pic jeez. 3-2 Neal and Iggy get a

Ottawa's Craig Anderson has definitely taken the road less traveled to the second round of the 2013 Stanley Cup playoffs. He's been drafted by two NHL teams (first by Calgary in 1999 then by Chicago in 2001 when he didn't sign with Calgary). The next five years he bounced between NHL and AHL in Chicago's organization before spending three years in Florida and two more in Colorado before a 2011 move to Ottawa. In three seasons with the Senators, Anderson has posted save percentages of .939, .913 and a sterling .941 mark this season in 24 injury shortened games of the lockout season. By any means, the mark of a goalie who's found his rhythm and become a solid NHL starting caliber goalie. One who would have even merited some talk for Vezina trophy discission, had he not been injured and played more games this season. There's been one consistent thorn in Anderson's side this season, and that's the Pittsburgh Penguins. Anderson's .941 save percentage would have been .946 (557 saves on 589 shots) had he not faced the Penguins three times in the regular season. The Pens won all three of those games, including a shootout where James Neal, Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin all humbled Anderson in the only three shots Anderson faced. Like them or not, shootouts are used to decide games, and again Anderson had no answer for shots off the Penguins sticks. The same trend has continued so far in the playoffs. The Sens made short work of the Montreal Canadiens in five games, anchored by Anderson who stopped 171 of 180 shots for a terrific .950 save percentage. But ihe first two games of this series, Anderson's yielded seven goals on 51 shots (.863 save percentage) and got a quick hook early in the second period in favor of backup Robin Lehner, who played very well in relief for Ottawa. For the Senators, their chances of beating the Penguins begins and ends with Anderson. If he isn't, by far, the best player on the ice, Pittsburgh will win games. In a zero games to two hole, Ottawa will have to win four of the next five games in order to move on. Given Anderson's performances so far in 2013 against Pittsburgh (0-3-1, .892 save percentage, 3.40 GAA) it's looking like an uphill battle indeed.

I borrowed (slightly altered) the title from Terry Pratchett. If you got the reference, kudos to you. But I figured it was a good time to break down the current state of the lower leagues as they battle through their post-seasons. As you may well be aware, the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins are currently enmeshed in an uphill battle in Round 2 of the AHL playoffs. In Round 1, we manged to beat the Binghamton Senators in a 3-game sweep. The rest of the Eastern Conference was a hard fought battle, and we didn't find out who our 2nd Round opponent would be until 2 days before the next series began, though it gave our guys a week long break. The 2nd Round against the Providence Bruins started out really bad with 2 away games, losing Game 1 8-5 and losing Game 2 4-2, with Jeff Zatkoff giving up 12 goals in just 4 periods of hockey. Remember, this is the same Zatkoff that finished the season with the league's best GAA and won the Best Goaltending Duo award. Brad Thiessen took over in the 2nd period of Game 2 and held them scoreless for the remainder, but the team was unable to bounce back and Zatkoff notched another L. Game 3 rolled around, back home in WBS, and they chose to go with Thiessen. He played well enough, but the game went back and forth all night, with the score tied 1-1 after 60. Unfortunately, a tricky goal mere seconds into OT and the Pens lost 2-1, trailing the series 3 games to none. At this point, winning the round became nearly impossible, but they were not willing to call it quits yet. But the final two home games, the Pens bounced back, and they bounced back hard. Game 4 last night the Pens walked away winning 3-1, and then kicked it up a notch and won Game 5 tonight 4-0. They head back to Providence to finish the series with Game 6 on Monday and hopefully Game 7 on Wednesday. The odds are certainly against them, very few teams have ever accomplished a comeback when trailing the series 3 games to none: 1942 Maple Leafs over Red Wings, 1975 Islanders over Penguins, and 2010 Flyers over Bruins in the NHL and 2004 Red Sox over Yankees in the MLB. So far Thiessen is the star of the series, only allowing 3 Goals in 11 periods of play and stopping 97 of 100 Shots, giving him a 0.82 GAA and a .970 Save % so far, with 2 Wins (1 Shutout) and 1 Over Time Loss. Add in his Game 3 victory in the 1st round of the playoffs, and Thiessen currently leads all AHL playoff goalies with a 1.08 GAA and a .959 Save %. If anybody can manage a miraculous comeback to take the series, it is him. Unfortunately, he can be a bit streaky. When he is on his game, he is one of the best goalies in the AHL (as shown 2 seasons ago when he made the All-Star team and walked away with awards as both the AHL's Top Goaltender and the AHL's Best Goaltending Duo). But when he is off his game, he struggles, as he did last year. Even during the regular season, he was on fire in January, winning Goaltender of the Month, but at other points in the season struggled and finished with fairly average stats. Even last year in the NHL he was up and down, with two great performances followed by a sub-par performance and then an awful one (3 W, 1 L), finishing strong by allowing no goals in his final showing relieving Fleury to finish a 3rd period. So lets hope his hot streak can hold out for the next 2 games, and the Pens can do what few teams have ever been able to accomplish and move on to the 3rd Round. Of the skaters, currently Chad Kolarik leads the team with 4 Goals, while Brian Gibbons, Riley Holzapfel, Paul Thompson, and Warren Peters (Alternate Captain) have 3 Goals each. Next is Chris Collins with 2 Goals in 7 Games and then Trevor Smith (Alternate Captain) with 2 Goals in 8 Games. Finally is Brian Dumoulin (the lone D goal scorer), Jayson Megna, Zach Sill, and Adam Payerl. Kolarik, Gibbons, Holzapfel, and Smith lead the team with 7 Points, followed by Thompson and Joey Mormina (#1 D and team Captain) with 6 Points. Dumoulin comes next wi

This is a pretty huge deal for the Ottawa Senators. Jason Spezza will be back for game three. From the Montreal Gazette: It might be a lot to ask, but the Ottawa Senators are hopeful Jason Spezza will be just what they need to get back into their playoff series with Pittsburgh. Spezza, who hasn't played since January 27 after undergoing back surgery for a herniated disc, will draw into Ottawa's lineup Sunday for Game 3 of the Eastern Conference semifinal series that the Penguins lead 2-0. "I'm excited to have a chance to play again," said Spezza. "I feel ready to play." The 29-year-old will immediately add depth to a struggling offence and power play. Spezza could drastically improve the Senators' fortunes.

Because Benstonium is the best:

In Game 2 of the 2009 Eastern Conference Semi-Finals against the Washington Capitals, both Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin dueled like titans while netting hat tricks. The game was heralded like a Broadway show featuring two blazing stars, unmatched by their peers. Four years later, we're back in the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals in Game 2 against the Ottawa Senators and Crosby puts on another clinic that also resulted in a hat trick, though this time, he was alone. As it should be. Crosby became the fifth fastest player to reach 100 playoff points which he did in 75 games. Just when you think Crosby couldn't etch his names on anymore lists, he finds another way to show just how supernatural his talents are. No matter how many captains Ray Shero will bring to the Pens, Crosby's work ethic and determination to be the best player in the NHL is what makes him this team's undeniable leader. If the Pens can follow his lead, they will enter the Promised Land. A 60-minute dominant effort, this was not, but the Pens held on to take their first 2-0 series lead since Evgeni Malkin terrorized Cam Ward in 2009. When you look back, it's amazing what a hot goalie and poorly-timed injuries can do to a talented team in the playoffs. While the Pens are looking okay on the injury front (more on that later), they're far too stacked offensively to be stymied by a hot goalie this year. Instead, the concern should stem from the happenings behind the blue line. I've been very vocal about my support for Tomas Vokoun and how much he's meant to the team, but I have to wonder how much longer he'll remain the starter. I don't think there's any doubt that his services were absolutely necessary when Marc-Andre Fleury was faltering, but can Vokoun really be the Pens' "guy" for the remainder of the playoffs (however long that is)? I'm not sure, but I'm not as confident as I was after seeing him in Game 5 against the Islanders. Friday night, Vokoun made some spectacular saves, possibly game-changers, in the second period. At the same time, he was pretty ordinary in allowing three goals in 22 shots. How many of those goals were his fault? I feel that can be argued all night, but the Pens need to tread carefully if the cracks in Vokoun's game start to show. For the record, I don't think his time is up yet, but if the Pens are going to remain consistent with keeping their goaltenders on a short leash, who knows what could trigger Bylsma to pull the hook. However, if I'm going to criticize Vokoun, then I need to spread the love to Deryk Engelland who would've been more effective as a no show. I understand why Bylsma turned to Engelland for this physical match up, but not only was he on the ice for both of the Sens' even-strength goals with less than nine minutes of total ice time, but he didn't even register a hit. If your physical play is what's getting you a spot on the roster, then that side of your game should be present at some point. I say bring Mark Eaton back. While we're discussing poor showings from defensemen, I can't help but feel bad for Erik Karlsson. Clearly he isn't fully recovered from his injury and it's glaringly obvious. He must be feeling the pressure as the reigning Norris Trophy winner and playing only 15:37 has to be a blow to his ego, despite his Achilles probably thanking him. It's incidents like this where you question just how important it is to dress a player who isn't fully healthy. People talk about how Crosby at 50% is better than most players who are 100% healthy, but can you say that for many other players? On top of that, is it worth potentially making an injury even worse? Just some things to consider. Another player who seems to be battling an injury is James Neal. Only a goal and two assists in the playoffs, it's safe to say Neal has hit a wall. He sustained an ankle injury during Game 1 against the Islanders, missed the following two games, and hasn't been the same since. With just under two minutes remaining in the

The Penguins did everything they needed to do in this game. They didn't get great goaltending from Tomas Vokoun, but they got timely goaltending with Vokoun making two huge saves late in the second period. Crosby scored three goals, Brenden Morrow gets credit with the game winner. The Pens are now up 2-0 in the series as it shifts to Ottawa on Sunday night at 7:30. Recap later. If you missed them here are the gifs of Crosby's first and third goals.

Crosby's third goal was a lazer. Troy Crosby was like..."meh."

So much speed. This gave the Pens a 1-0 lead.

The head of Peta probably threw up on himself. If you view this video as just two strange bros killing Penguins in the front yard, it actually makes it funnier than the video's orginal intention.