Rounding the horn into the back half of Disc Five of this 7-disc set, things get (mildly) funky, we talk a little about race, and Jack makes a dick joke. So, you know. The usual.
#11 Bryan Adams, “Heaven” (1983)
Recorded for the soundtr...
Rounding the horn into the back half of Disc Five of this 7-disc set, things get (mildly) funky, we talk a little about race, and Jack makes a dick joke. So, you know. The usual.
#11 Bryan Adams, “Heaven” (1983)
Recorded for the soundtrack to a little-remembered 1983 film, this hit the Number One spot in June 1985, over a year and a half after its initial release.
Feerick – I give Bryan Adams tremendous props for remaining a public figure for 30+ years while giving virtually nothing away about his personal life. That in itself is a pretty remarkable achievement.
Certainly moreso than his terrible music, which is meat-and-potatoes rock with a fatally-skewed ratio of potatoes to meat. It fills your ears up, but does not nourish them. A jillion hit singles, and only one of them has any substance — and it ain’t this one. (“Run To You,” if you were wondering.)
Medsker – I get its appeal, but it never appealed to me. My brother loved turning it into something Gilbert O’Sullivan would appreciate by singing, “I find it hard to believe you’re eleven.”
Cummings – For 20 years I allowed “Heaven” to float around in my head as not-bad-for-a-Bryan-Adams-song … certainly not as soul-draining as “Summer of ’69,” or “Somebody,” or anything he recorded during the ’90s. But I gotta admit, when that electronica version by DJ Sammy hit in ’02, I changed my opinion about the song entirely. Sped-up version, slowed-down version, didn’t matter — I loved that thing, because it epitomizes the emotive-girl-on-top-of-robotic-synths thing that always gets me. Maybe it also reminded me of Cathy Dennis, for whom I was a complete sucker.
Anyway, I hate Bryan Adams as much as everybody else hates Bryan Adams, but as drippy and annoying as his original is, it gets a pass from me.
Lifton – It shocked me to learn that Adams co-wrote all of his songs with Jim Vallance. After all, how does is take two people to collaborate on something as banal as this?
#12 Laid Back, “White Horse” (1983)
Hit the top spot on the dance charts; #26 in the Top 100.
Medsker – I was all about the beat (and still am) when this came out, but I never got into this song. When I heard the Normal’s “Warm Leatherette” for the first time a few years later, I suddenly understood the minimalistic appeal of this song… but that didn’t make me like it any more. Maybe it’s the woman doing that weird thing with her eyes. That, and the fact that there is not much to sink my teeth into. It just feels unfinished.
Cummings – If this is about the minimalism, give me “Da Da Da” instead. If this is about the drugs, it’s as insipid as the whole “Just Say No” thing – and in a world where “White Lines” exists, there’s no reason to give “White Horse” the slightest thought. In fact, whatever this is about, don’t make me listen to this again. It’s one of my very least favorite “songs” of the ’80s, or any other era.
Feerick – A single-hitter, transparently by design. This was not a group built for the long haul; you do not give your band a feeble, dashed-off name like “Laid Back” if you ever anticipate having a second hit.
As for the music: A flatulent man with a slide-whistle tells you, “Don’t do drugs, mmmkay?” Which doesn’t sound like much fun, but in practice, it’s a hoot. The relative lack of ambition is part of what makes it so entertaining; unburdened by any concern for their legacy, Laid Back are free to simply bring the bang. My pick for the week.
Lifton – This isn’t too different from today’s EDM, is it? It’s crude by comparison but the idea is the same, as far as I can tell. I don’t like this, either.
Feerick – Hold that thought, Dave. I want to get back to that after we listen to the next track…
#13 Shannon, “Let the Music Play” (1983)
Peaked at #4 on
