Satirical News

HOLLYWOOD, CA - It was nearly termed another developing scandal for the Obama Administration, but, before the night was over, audiences saw the 44th President of the United States aptly named 'Best Narcissist' for the 2013 Billboard Music Awards.

A spokesperson for the R.A. announced its decision yesterday, saying: "Texas is too big, too different, and just too damn difficult to remain in the union... and they never wanted to be a part of the United States, anyway." One of the provisions...

Muse may have hidden a word using Morse code in one of their songs. You've probably heard of bands hiding backwards messages in their songs, but this one is older and nerdier. Some clever fans realized that the beginning of the Muse song "Starlight" had a word in Morse code. The song starts with clapping drums that spell out "__ .. __ …" which spells out the word "TITS." It might be intentional, although some people believe that it is purely coincidental. The song, Starlight is from the 2006 album "Black Holes and Revelations, and is a love song about missing someone you love. What do you think… Do we have any Muse fans amongst our readers? Did they intend to put that code in or was it accidental? If you haven't heard the song, we're embedding it. (Source)

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – While being interviewed on MSNBC, former chairman of the NAACP Julian Bond, encourages the Internal Revenue Service to continue to target the Tea Party, and anyone else that aligns themselves with conservatives. He explained that the IRS should be allowed to probe all political groups, except the organizations that has a high concentration of blacks, because that would obviously be racial profiling.

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BREAKING NEWS – Englewood, New Jersey – At the Vicente Tibbs Senior Citizen Building, 75 year-old James Parham has been arrested for running a prostitution ring. The local police and the district attorney, stated that it was the first time they ever saw a pimp that needed an oxygen tank.

BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – More embarrassing information is coming out about Michael Jackson, during the lawsuit his family filed against concert promoters AEG Live. Medical documents are verifying that the King of Pop had over 25 facelifts. The skin on his face was said to be so tight, that his children would often bounce quarters off of his cheeks as he slept. All three of his kids have emphatically denied that is true, and said it was nickels.

Hyogo Prefecture has a bit of a reputation for culinary excellence.

Police said they listened to two California men plan and carry out a car burglary when one of the men accidentally dialed 911 on his cellphone.

Americans officially hate hipsters. Public Policy Polling has built a reputation for being a pretty reliable pollster. However, they also have some fun when they do some polls by adding in funny, quirky and strange poll questions just to see what people respond. A new survey by them found that only 16% of Americans have a favorable opinion of hipsters, while 42% of people view them unfavorably. However the study doesn't define what a hipster is, so people were responding on their own ideas of what a hipster is. Republicans, the found, have a 9% favorable opinion of hipsters, half of the Democrats favorability percentage. If the study itself wasn't funny enough, here's another question that PPP threw in: 25% of people said they would support a special tax on hipsters for being annoying. Learn more at the source. (Source)