First, I hate you. It's not nice to take other people's things: bikes, headlights, boyfriends, whatever. If it clearly belongs to someone else, yet knowing that, you take it anyway, you are a douche and I hate you.Second, it's broken, as...
First, I hate you. It's not nice to take other people's things: bikes, headlights, boyfriends, whatever. If it clearly belongs to someone else, yet knowing that, you take it anyway, you are a douche and I hate you.Second, it's broken, as you either already know or will find out shortly, so good luck with that. Moreover, the rechargeable batteries are like eight years old and nearing the end of their useful life, so I won't miss those very much, either. (In fact, there's another little surprise waiting for you when you do decide to replace the batteries.) True, it's a rather large financial inconvenience to have to replace my blinky headlight before, instead of after, I start my new full-time job, but I could probably make do with another cheap Knog or two until I have money again.Third, I'm curious as hell as to why you chose today, of all days, to steal the damned thing, considering it's been sitting there for the taking on my handlebars outside all day (and sometimes half the night) all fall, winter, and the first half of spring. I mean, basically, any day it wasn't warm enough to go bare-handed, I just left it on there, since it's a pain in the ass to pry off with cold, numb fingers (on account of it being broken), as I'm sure you've already figured out. Because hey (so I reasoned), if it hasn't been stolen yet, then who's going to steal it now? Well, you, obviously, but why wait until the end of May? If it was a crime of opportunity, then I must say that as a thief you kind of suck, since it took you until freaking now to seize that opportunity. In fact, had the cold front not suddenly appeared last night, you would have missed it altogether, and my broken, dying blinky headlight would still be safe in my possession.Now, I suppose it's possible that you're actually some poor schmo who got stuck in the dark with no headlight, and being so desperate to ride in a safe and careful manner, and seeing mine, and also seeing the bracket for my other headlight, you made the terrible decision to "borrow" it, and the fact that it's broken and the batteries are half-dead anyway makes you feel slightly better about the situation. However, I have little to no faith in the goodness of humanity, so I'm more likely to believe that you're just a douche who takes things that belong to other people simply because you can and for no other reason. And that's why I hate you.
